from the 

Game 5880, Dread Squid vs. AbuMulch

Very happy Luftwaffe pilots...

ES ~ ...usually means very unhappy French women.

Game 6103, Sohoa vs. jwang@

Hans the drunken german strikes again -since he can not swim either, he drowns
and then his burning plane falls on him.

ES ~ I have no clue what this is in relation to, but it's funny.

Game 6168, GeneralTank vs. ????

Attacks
Western Europe
w/ 2 INF  (Walk IN) At least I won't get [deleted] by the [deleted]
dice server!!

ES ~ Since when did {deleted} become a curse word?

Game 6861, DreadSquid vs. Komp

6861, DreadSquid vs. Komp
7) West Med SZ (1bb)
w/
1bb f/C. Med SZ

-> SZ taken with 1bb.  (somebody buy those folks some gunsights)

ES ~ Hey, if I was the German commander, I wouldn't be complaining here.

Game 6996, DGHouston vs. ab6904@

If the Hitlerite swine send no orders to the contrary and the club OOL
for defending forces in a sea zone is followed, withdraw the brave
peoples sub to the friendly waters of the United Kingdom after the loss
of the German transport.  We'll leave the German sub to the brave
peoples fighter pilot.  The heroes of the USSR will go with the default OOL
for attacking forces in a sea zone and lose the sub first from any Hun fire
to hit.

ES ~ I so enjoy people who love their play.

Game 7281, DWJD vs. Max

ES ~ After Germany conquered Karellia on G1, the UK tried to bomb the Kraut's
brains out. Our courageous Mr. Churchill listed the battle as:

Bmr vs German engineers trying to figure out the
Russian equipment manuals.

ES ~ They didn't do that good of a job.  Germany lost four IPCs.

Game 7373, DeBruce vs. maoandian

Germany's 1st

No matter what history might say, we all know the truth. Russia attacked us
first. Hitler vows revenge.

ES ~ The Axis finished on round seven with a Magic 84 win.  Hitler gets his
revenge.

IAAPA's 4th Annual convention, tentatively known as "Stukas over the
Strip ~ Y2Kombat", will be held on the world famous Las Vegas Strip from
June 9 - 11.  Errant Knight will be onhand as host and DWB (Designated
Whipping Boy).  For more info check out the Convention Info link on the
Knight Site.

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand
the game, and dumb enough to think it's important."

Sen. Eugene McCarthy

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Blackwatch recently sent the following message to players in the Team International Tourney:

Ozymandius brings home a Victoria Cross for Team Canada.
Congratulations Brian - well done!

I personally felt that Canadian teammates might prefer to call it a Hat Trick, while
members of both the US and Asian Pacific teams might call it a Triple Play.  And then there is
the hapless Team Europe....they could refer to it as A Bloody Miracle.

I wonder if it is too late to change teams?  :)

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

There is a survey which I added to the Knight Site during my campaign.  All of the
questions are based upon different issues raised by members in their emails to me.  Since I
didn't create the survey until a week or two after the last issue, many folks haven't seen it yet.
Check it out and voice your opinion.  Some of the results/comments have been interesting.

Squire Speaketh

I'd like to donate my soapbox this month to the hard-workers of the
IAAPA. I think they deserve a round of applause (clap here).  I'm talking
about the hardworking government members who strive to keep this club going,
the Senators, and Legislators (not to mention the Chancellors), those
thankless souls who actually accept their GM duties, especially those that
take rookie games, and, my personal favorite, the funny people.  These are
the people who take a break from the tumult of world war to add in humorous
anecdotes, catchy one-liners, or even put a novel into the game.  Sure, it
takes a little extra time, but I've never known anyone to complain about
getting destruction, mayhem, calamity, and fun (as if the first three
weren't!) Let's hear it for 'em folks, one more time (clap louder).

~ES

Knight Muse

I had very mixed feelings about the recent election results.  On one hand I was
disappointed with the defeat, but on the other hand a bit relieved that the pressure
was off.  It's very easy to sit back and tell everyone what you would do if you had the
chance, but it's not always so easy to fulfill those dreams when you are given the
opportunity.

When I first began my campaign I tried to have fun with it, making the election
posters for example, but as time went by I became more involved and more serious
about my goals.  I believe that many of you felt this, and agreed with my ideas, or it
wouldn't have been such a close contest.

Thanks to all who supported me in the election, and congratulations to Todd Vomit
on his victory.  We'll be watching over the next year to see how things progress...
If I decide to run again I have a sure-fire winning campaign poster which I declined
to use in this election, but next year it will be no-holds barred.  The poster will
feature two pictures and a caption:  "Vomit or Knight...your choice."  :)

EK

Knight Mail

My opponent (Abramov) sent me this story along with his conceding
message;
 
 

It's 1944, the Battle of the Bulge in Europe. An American squad has
been cut off behind enemy lines. They're surrounded. As night
falls, a new recruit finds the sergeant who's acting commander.
"Sarge," he says, "I don't know how it happened, but in the fighting
today, I lost my rifle. What do I do?"

The sergeant favors him with a few comments not fit for a polite
newsgroup, then he looks around and finds an old broomstick.

"OK," he says, "Any German soldier who sticks his head up, you point
this at him and go 'bangity-bangity.'"

"That won't work!" replies the private, but the sergeant tells him
to just do it.

The private says, "Yeah, but what if we get to hand-to-hand combat?"

The sergeant looks around and finds a butter knife, and ties it to
the end of the broomstick. He says, "If the Germans come in close,
you go 'stabity-stabity' with this."

At sunrise the Germans attack in hordes. There's shouting and
screaming and shooting and dying going on all around. In the middle
of this chaos, the private stands up and starts going "bangity-
bangity." And it seems to be having some effect! So he goes
"bangity-bangity," "bangity-bangity," "bangity-bangity-bangity."

Well, he's just murdering the Germans. He's mowing them down with
that broomstick. But still they keep coming. He goes "stabity-stabity"
at the ones who get close, and they start bleeding and dying all
around.

Pretty soon, he's the only American left alive. There are piles of
dead bodies all around him. He shoots the last few Germans with his
broomstick, and an unearthly quiet settles on the battlefield.

Then he notices this one lone German soldier off in the distance,
coming toward him. The German isn't shooting at the American, just
sort of shuffling along straight for him.

The American private lets him get within easy broomstick range, then
he goes "bangity-bangity." No effect.

"Bangity-bangity."

Nothing.

The German's still not shooting, he's sort of mumbling to himself,
still coming. When he gets close the American goes "stabity-stabity,"
but that doesn't work either.

The German walks right up to the American, pushes him over, walks on
top of him and keeps going. That little ol' German crushes the hell
out of the American just by stepping on him.

And as he's lying there, the life draining from his body, he can
hear the German heading away, mumbling "tankity-tankity."

                              ~ Silex

EK ~ It's an oldie but a goodie.

Recon Squad

IAAPA Havoc has a severe shortage of intelligence and desperately needs
reconnaissance volunteers.  Please include your IAAPA alias with all
contributions.  Space limitations (and reader's attention spans) hinder
the chances of extremely long submissions being printed.  Less is more!
All intelligence reports should be forwarded to the S-3 Officer at:

havoc@axisandallies.net

The Knight Site can be found at:  http://www.geocities.com/errant_knight_2000
 

Errant Knight and Errnt Squire
 
 

IAAPA Havoc Contributors:

Silex

 Return to Library