from the 

Game 7488, Sephorin vs. tigervol

A G1 attack on Kar left the Ruskies with no arm or ftrs.  On Japan 2 the Axis commander ordered an attack on India with a transport which was apparently nuclear powered...

Today the US intercepted Japanese communications in the Indian ocean:

You!  Transport!  Go New Guinea, get infantry, kill India!  NO!  You transport go East Indies pick up infantry kill India.  WAIT!  Also
bring from Indies, kill India!

What you say?!  Cannot reach!?

Transport reporting: we have deliver infantry to kill India and...OH!!  Big green   bomber attack us!!  AGGGHHH!!...... bzzt...

Officials were unable to determine why the message was in English.  In other news, the poorly equipped Russians were seen beating on a German tank with baseball bats in Caucasus today.  After this tactic failed, one of the Russian soldiers cleverly called out to one of the men inside the tank who, being a trusting Nazi, proceeded to open the hatch.  He was promptly overwhelmed by four divisions of USSR troops.

USSR 3

Purchase 6 inf ($18)
Save $1

Combat
1. Cau: 4 inf VS 1 arm
    4 inf (Rus) to Cau
RESULT: Cau taken with 4 inf and their baseball bats

Game 7596, Ozymandius vs. Max
 

"Supply, are you sure that this is the correct ordinance for a fighter squadron? I thought that those boxes marked "6" were intended for the bombers to use on their strategic bombing runs!"

"Squadron leader, you are attacking armor. Trust us."

"Supply, no hits, load us again."

"OK. Let's give these 6's another try."

"Supply, strike two.  Do you mind if we just load some plain 'ol 1's, 2's and 3's"

"You got it"

20 mm rounds did seem to work better.  Armor eliminated in round three. One infantry killed by secondary explosions.

A message from BlackWatch to participants in the Team International Tournament

A pair of bedraggled scruffy heralds tentatively approach the walls of Castle Shannon. The elder senior messenger nudges his younger, even dimmer apprentice.

"Hail the guard!", the startled oaf cries out.

"Who goes there?"

"Camelot's Alarum Delivery Service!"

"What seek ye, CADS?"

"We seek Errant Ladies of the Knight!"

"DOLT!" bellows the senior herald, "That's what we're doing next month at the tournament, not what we're doing here!"

"Pardon my ignorant apprentice's ill mannered remarks, my good captain, we seek an audience with the Lady Errant Knight."

"What business do you have with the Lady of this castle, buffoons?"

"Sad news of her Lord and Master!"

"Stay a moment, and I will fetch her Ladyship."

A few moments later as the mistress of the castle approaches, the older messenger passes a small box to her, pauses to unroll a scroll, and begins to read in deep and sonorous tones,

"A poem on the passing of AxisSpec:

Thrice upon the field of battle
Strode your Master full of mettle
Three times he would play his part,
But home he comes stretched on a cart.
Torn and bloody, but be ye proud!
He stood so high among the crowd.
As thrice to fight did he start,
But only won this Purple Heart."

EK ~  Mrs. Knight and I recently presented AxisSpec with a new Parcheesi board, and, unlike his struggle with A&A, he's caught onto the strategy quite well.   He's a nice fellow despite the fact that his periscope doesn't quite make it to the surface.

Game 7285, TennesseeRazorbacks v. bmf63

Yeah, I'll go ahead and move 1 US ftr to RUS.  Maybe instead of Kursk we'll have Hakin Gol or Nomonhan.

***Oh great! Now you are forcing me to do research! I can't find anything about Hakin Gol, but I did find some stuff on Nomohan. I will refute that "duty is weightier than a mountain" and that "death is lighter than a feather" as mass suicide is not currently in the plans. If I must, I shall bow in honor to my victor, but the new scientists I have are constantly reminded of the failure of their predecessors by the postings of large pictures of their fate. Draconian you say? So be it, for the divine wind must blow and the light of the sun that shines through yonder window to the east is merely the spirit of my noble japanese warriors.

...well...something like that at least....

EK ~ Isn't Hakin Gol something like hagis?

The Squire was a running around making sure that the Castle Shannon was not bare and full of bones. The dust bunnies were a running for their lives . The poor Squire was sure going to be happy when the festivities were over . The celebration was going to be quite large with folks a coming from all over the Kingdom.

The Knight could be heard shouting at the poor Wizard and The Lady Knight "clean, clean , everything must be clean" . The games they must be great this year The best of all times . He glared at the Wizard with his best practice stare . I will have everything just so . You will conjure up your best spells or heads will roll he growled from the back of his throat.

The squire thought  that all would be great , for he knew that the Knight would make it so .

EK ~ Thanks Sohoa!  :)

Game 7729, Tusk vs. AxisSpec

The Japanese lose 40% of their aircraft to AA's in an early assault upon Moscow.  The Allies taunt the Axis forces in their next missive:

 Alas... She DID blow her load...  beware of the AA Gun...  it shoots well...

 USA#6

 w/35 Buys..
 1 trns (8)  Wco
 1 ftr (12)  Eus
 5 inf (15)  4 Eus..1 Wus

 Combats
 1...SBR Vs Berlin
   w/2 bmbrs f/FIN   (r/Mos)
 total 2 bmbrs vs AA,ICX
***You can send this one in Havoc...

Bombers attacking: 2
AA gun: 1*,1* (2 Bombers gunned down)

Me and my BIG mouth with a foot in it***

EK ~ Biting my tongue...  :)

Game 7549, Buzz vs WarMason

At a particular "high point" WarMason
submits his noncombat:

NCMs
Nada goes nowhere
4 nobodies to never never land
38 of those guys in to that place

EK ~ I can only remember 3 Nobodys who made the trip...you aren't counting the teddy, are you?

Game 7745, Tusk Vs MistrStmpy

Our British Allies have put themselves in a real bind...     a bind like eating 3 pounds of cheese...

EK ~ ::Sniff::  What's that smell?

If you've just recently joined IAAPA, or if you've been in a coma for several months, or if you've just had your cryogenically frozen head defrosted and attached to a new bod.....you may not have heard about ~ and you're just in time for ~ IAAPA's 4th Annual Convention!

Boy!  Talk about great timing!  It's just too bad you probably won't be able to get a flight or a room; but hey,  the stitches need to heal anyway...right?  Besides, you can read all about it next month's Havoc.

To see what you'll be missing, glide the pointy thing down to:

http://www.geocities.com/errant_knight_2000/coninfo.html

I can't wait until next week.  Two of IAAPA's best players will be at the convention, and I've been promised a rematch by both.  I intend to extract my vengeance on my home turf.  Considering that I'm batting a miserable .166 in my combined record against Spud and Rewstr, I'm due for a win.  I'll probably just get spanked like usual ~ by both of them.  Sigh... :)

Errnt Squire has resigned his position with Havoc and the Knight is searching for a replacement.  The job consists of reviewing new and old gamelogs for interesting/humorous content.  The Squire may also submit a monthly editorial for the Havoc.  Anyone interested in taking on these duties should send their application to the Knight at havoc@axisandallies.net  A sense of humor is a must!

Special thanks to James who has done a great job for the last several months as Errnt Squire.  Good luck in all your future endeavors!

Knight Muse

Whilst recently residing with the local blood-letter, his body filled with the various products supplied by Ye Apothecary, the Knight's thoughts meandered.  Ok.  So that's not new or  even slightly surprising...but...

I began to think that the time had come to move onward.  Maybe it was time to lay down my arms...to rest the pen...to retire the Knight.  Maybe Havoc had reached it's pinnacle within Volume 3 of IAAPA's beloved newsletter, regardless of whether or not it exceeded the craft of the first two volumes.  I enjoyed compiling and relaying each and every issue...but had I anything else to say?

The once curly locks which hung neath the helm had turned steely and scarcer, and were shorn.  The face has wizened (not to be confused with...) and southerly parts have developed the same symptoms.  Perhaps my quiver for a quilt was best.

But to lay the pen, to trade the quiver would then also require the end of the Games.  No longer could I raise my Joust, nor feel the steel strike against mail.  The steed would go to pasture.

Had I really lived beyond my time?  Had I lost my direction, my purpose, my desire?  Did I really want to continue the journey?  Maybe it was time to pass the torch and find Havoc's new voice.

The next day they gave me steroids and I felt much better.  Cya next month. :)

EK

Knight Mail

Hi

I was just reading the Havoc, and I saw the famous quote. :Run away! Run away!

If this came from where I thought it did, then:

Hallo. Who is this?
I'm French where do you think I got this crazy accent!

                               ~  Oooops.  Author unknown.  Email deleted too early.

EK ~ I've been using that line for years, and not many people have mentioned its origin.  Actually,
Monty Python stole it from me!  Yeah, that's the ticket...EYE wrote that line and they stole it!  :)

Sohoa's
"hint of the month"
When playing the axis and you have a choice as Japan to capture Sing. or India (which is usually  empty.). Take Sink . the cheap 3 points can wait untill the next round . and by not taking Sink you will lose a
round of movement and the probably the game.

EK ~ Hmmm.  Is that what I've been doing wrong.  This bears testing...

Bring a convention to somewhere in the midwest and you all will have the  opportunity to play axis and allies with  jrnk    aka : grasshopper .... been playing since the game 1st came out.   My license plate even is Axis related.   Missed the first tournament in detroit michigan and have been patiently waiting for 16+ years for another chance to play in the midwest.

I promise to make the games worth your while.

I will keep praying for a midwest tournament.

Thank you for keeping me posted on the club.

Looking forward to playing some face to face with you all.
 

Good luck in Vegas.

                                             ~ Grasshopper

EK ~ Well, little Grasshopper, thanks for the note!  (And I thought I was an Axis junkie...)

I will be passing through Las Vegas 10-11 June, no time to participate inthe convention, though, unfortunately.  Any problems with me just dropping will the gameroom at the casino/hotel be open for me to visit even though I'm not participating?  I won't be able to spend more than 30 minutes or so at the convention.

                                              ~ Scott

EK ~ The Hotel's insurance company has notified us that they will not be responsible for any injuries to mere bystanders caught in the crossfire.   Please bring a white hankie tied to a long stick....

Recon Squad

IAAPA Havoc has a severe shortage of intelligence and desperately needs reconnaissance volunteers.  Please include your IAAPA alias with all correspondence.  Space limitations (and reader's attention spans) hinder the chances of extremely long submissions being printed.  Less is more!

All intelligence reports should be forwarded to the S-3 Officer at:

havoc@axisandallies.net

The Knight Site can be found at:  http://www.geocities.com/errant_knight_2000
 

Errant Knight
 
 

IAAPA Havoc Contributors:

Sephorin
Ozymandius
BlackWatch
Tusk
Buzz
TennesseeRazorbacks
Sohoa
 

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