Game 7475, JohnPin vs hoquista

JohnPin - Thanks for the game...I hope I give you a nice challenge,
       I've been getting my butt kicked by higher ranked players.."

John Pin replies:   You are very fortunate.  I get my butt kicked by players of all ranks...

Game 7401 axis slerch the snake vs Gedeone

SS ----I read this game and just have to say thanks for the nap -guys. Gede can type in Italian. I now know how to spell foooorrggeddaaaabouwwwwdditt .

Game 7464,  GameStar vs VikingStud

GameStar: got to go
                    wife is gripping   mind if we stop for tonight?
                    sorry would love to keep playing but i have to live with her
                    shes calling again   so take care

       Later, after Viking Stud gets the upper hand GameStar says:

       well fellow gamester   you have me by the go-nads and are squeezing too hard.

EK ~ Be careful what you say ~ unless you don't mind the entire club knowing that you're whipped.....and we're not talking about the game here... :)

Game 7337, herrschmidt vs cnty9047
 

thick fog rolling in from North Sea makes it a crap shoot.. 4 rounds
       later.. BMr blown into pieces

SS ~ Now  imagine  what the BMr was shot down with.....

1) Kamikaze tank

 1 ARM E. US vt vs Norway

        1 ARM vs 4 INF, 1 ARM

Norway held with 3 INF, 1 ARM

 At the scene of battle:

Jack - "Hey, there's no ammo in this here tank!   What the hell do I do now?"

Pressing forward, Jack accidentally manages to run over some infantry trying to flee out of his way.  After that, Jack is reduced to pieces.

Back at the US war room:

"Well, we told him he'd be a new man, we just never said what kind of man he would be.  Well men, he took out some of their defenses, so the plan was a success.  Besides, what were we going to do with that old tank anyways.  Now, we have made it a little easier for those Russians to take Norway.   Let's hope those incompetent bastards don't screw it up...."

Meanwhile, in the enemy HQ:

 Narvik, Norway
Dear Elsa,
A strange thing happened the other day. We were down at the beach 'cause it was an exceptional warm day, (you know how cold it can get up here...) and one batallion went swimming and just overall laying in the sand, sunbathing, for some R&R.  Suddenly, out of the blue, a ship neared the shore and a tank rolled out of it.

Not many saw it directly, especially those guys down in the sand. (We were up the dune).  We thought it was some kind of festival or morale booster and we expected a brass band  jumping out of it soon and start playing.  Strange was our surprise when the lid opened and a head appeared of a physically strong, but not so clever-looking man.  He reminded me of your cousin, you know, the one who had
hit his head when he fell of the barn, and occasionally thinks he's a horse?

Anyway, he was laughing out loud and shouting something like: 'HIERo !'(Translation: Overhere!) and before we knew what was going on he drove criss-cross over the beach, over some guys who were laying there.  He just kept on shouting 'HIERo!  HIERo!'.
So, we responded.

Poor lad. We buried him this morning along with some of our own.

EK ~ Actually, I believe Jack was really a Marine.  Everyone knows that Marines are dumber than a rock.

Game 7354, AxisSpec vs Gap
 

A.Spec said:

I was chatting with the tourney minister and trying to roll 4 turns...and I attacked myself in Karelia....instead of the Germans. And on top of all that....I missed the Cau battle twice.

SS ~ and you do what for what publication?  Eh!

EK ~  I've been trying to tell you that AS's turret is only half full...

Game 7360--Plunken vs Sohoa
 

Now in honor of our Japanese invaders, a Zen knock knock joke.

       Knock Knock!!!

       Who's there???

       No one..........
 

SS ~ I also have a Knock Knock joke...Ok you start.

Wehrmachter leads the Russian army into Berlin on R7 and on UK7 Churchill demands that the Japanese surrender.  Tojo replies thusly:

Results for requested rolling follows
------------------------------------------------------

4,4,6*,5,6*,6*,6*,4,6*,1
Total succesful rolls: 5
 You reported to already own:
None
You achived the following Technological Advances
Roll:  Industrial Technology
Roll:  Heavy Bombers
Roll:  Rocket Technology
Roll:  Super Submarines
Roll:  Long Range Aircrafts

The Japanese utilize their newly acquired technology to capture Russia.....barely...

Well I was about to begin complaining about my terrible luck in this game, losing the Luftwaffe and then Berlin when the capital might have easily held. But I sure can’t complain now. Not only did the tech pay off with HB and LR (what  I needed to make the Moscow attack) I also got 3 other weapons. And then the Moscow attack (which could easily have failed) just squeaked by. What was that you said earlier? Game over? ;-)

EINSTEIN

AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!

Well that takes the cake!!  This has got to be put into the Havoc as the most luck of all!!  Down for the count, one miracle swing and bam!!  ... russia gone, 112ipc in the war chest, 5, count them 5 tech and incredible position!! ... aaargh!!!

Wehrmachter

EK ~ Yeah.  Right.  I roll 19 dice and get Super Subs.

Game 7883, Steiner vs. Sephorin

What can you do when your transports fight better than your battleships?

LOOKOUT GUY: CAPTAIN FOSTER!  3 squadrons of ftrs and one of bmbs are bearing down on us!

CAPTAIN: Eh, they won't attack us.  See?  They're going after the transports.

                           Um, sir, shouldn't we help them?

                 Quiet!  I'm trying to drink my beer here.

                          WOW!  Those transports just shot down two squadrons of ftrs!

                  See?  They don't need our help.  Let's hide in that bank of fog.

                          Very good, sir.  AAGGH!  It's an iceberg!

                   In the Mediterranean?  I don't believe it.  Full speed ahead!

                           Yes, sir!

The BB Dumbkopf is listed as missing in action.

EK ~ Or....you could put a hammer through your monitor's screen...

Game 7871, Spud vs. AxisSpec

Germany 10.......

NEWS FLASH....With liberation of India, Mahatma Ghandi takes over as Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces and begins strategy of non-violence against Axis aggressors. All retaliation is to cease immediately.

EK ~ I might have had a chance in this game if Spud hadn't enforced this silly non-violence pact for 2 rounds.  I still haven't found that paragraph in the rulebook, but I'm sure he wouldn't trick me like that.

This month a new, yet very familiar face joins the staff of Havoc.   Errnt Squire has changed his name to Squire Sohoa.

And EYE thought he was spamming me before!

ERRANT ERRATA ~  Last month I mentioned that only 9 people had signed up for the Summer Open tourney.  Well....much to my chagrin I happened to notice that it was the 1998 Summer Open's 47th round (whatever) which I was perusing.  My error is easily understood when one notices that AxisSpec is one of the 9 players.  How could he possibly have lasted that long?

It seems that being a charter member of IAAPA's Century Club wasn't enough for one certain player...he had to start his OWN version of the Century Club.  I don't think there are many players who are looking forward to joining the 100 Loss Club, however...  I won't tell you his name, but his initials are T-U-S-K  (Gil's a good friend and a permanent member of the Knight's Round Table....even if he can't play...     :)

I've put up a new survey on the Knight Site.  The questions are relevant to discussions going on within the club today (except the last one.)  Take a few seconds and let your opinions be known; or a little longer if you'd like to make a specific comment...and who knows?  Maybe someone important will take notice of the results. :)

When I first joined the AOL A&A Club I thought I was gonna slaughter everyone since I'd been playing the game for 12 years already.  A month later the club held their 1st Annual Convention....and it was right down the street from where I lived.  I had just won my rookie game, and then won my first convention match quite easily.  I was pumped, and just a tad cocky.  I was sitting in the meeting room waiting for everyone to return from lunch, and as the main group filtered back into the room I announced, "I'm taking the Axis with 8!"

JohnPin569 tripped over 3 chairs to grab the seat opposite mine.  I don't remember how it happened, but I actually won that game.  I'm fairly certain that I got a little lucky...either that or John's concussion may have helped.

I retold this story at the recent convention and John made it a point to remind me of the win.  Not only is he a witty guy (as seen above) and a good sport, but he's a great Minister of Law ~ even if we don't always agree on things at times. :)

Ready for that rematch yet, John?

Knight Muse

Well....

About 200 of you, as of this writing, managed to pull the Knight up from the depths.  That's how many hits I've had on Havoc #17; and the 2 previous issues had pretty close to 200 hits also.

When I decided to go to a Web Page format for Havoc (with MicWil's encouragement) I realized that one of the biggest advantages was being able to get some instant feedback via the use of a counter.  I'd always worried that when I sent out the Havoc that about 15 people read it, and the rest of you just deleted it upon receipt.  I must admit that I was a little worried that the extra work required in accessing the Havoc would mean that readership would plummet. :)

Thanks for all the support ~ especially you guys who accessed the page 10+ times...  It makes it much easier to put the Havoc together; even if I didn't have such a blast doing it each month.

EK

Knight Mail

Just read the Havoc, and the piece about JohnPin's bomb raids. I was the recipient of an even worse raid, in a game against zwoof@ (which I won ;), which I enclose below. He was allies, I was axis, and the USA bombed Jap owned Karelia:

Heavy Bombers: 4,3,6,3,5,1,2,6,2,1,3,1,5,3,4,6,5,4,2,6,3,4,4,5,4,6,4,2,4,6
(Total damage: 114 IPCs)

                                                        ~ Spud

EK ~ You darn Canucks always have to outdo us Yanks, eh?  How the heck did you ever recover from a bombing raid like that, anyway?  Oooops.  Never mind.  I've seen you play before...unfortunately. :)

Looking at your photos, I noticed that all the boxes look new. Do you get new games if you come? My box cover is missing 2 sides and the bottom is half chewed up by the cat! I have to use real money as the former is all gone. The fighters are missing all their tails and most of the bombers have only 1 wing.  Finding an infantry with a gun is very rare. AA guns are all short barrelled jobs too! If you are looking for a convention, come to Milwaukee Aug 9-12 for GenCon. (But bring a game along)

                                                        ~ Steiner

EK ~ On the opening day of the convention I was horrified to discover that my newest gameset had been lost during a recent move.  I didn't want to arrive without a game, so I took the only one I could find ~ the original gameboard and pieces which I bought in 1985.  The board was so old, faded, torn and stained it was embarassing;  and I spent the rest of the  morning on the phone with all the game stores in town until I found one which had a copy of A&A.  I wonder how many of the other guys went through the same thing before leaving their hometowns?  :)  (Oh, and btw....I never go to a place where it might snow...and what the hell is a bubbler? ;)

Recon Squad

IAAPA Havoc has a severe shortage of intelligence and desperately needs reconnaissance volunteers.  Please include your IAAPA alias with all correspondence.  Space limitations (and reader's attention spans) hinder the chances of extremely long submissions being printed.  Less is more!

To submit an Intelligence Report please sign into the logbook:

The Knight Site can be found at:  http://www.geocities.com/errant_knight_2000
 

Errant Knight and Squire Sohoha
 
 

IAAPA Havoc Contributors:

Raist
Einstein
Steiner

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