It's IAAPA Confusion!
It's IAAPA Mayhem!
No! It's...
IAPPA Havoc
Notes From the Front
Game 6190
Axis: EJGusto
Allies: KUTUZOV
Round 1: Attacking: 2 INF, 1 BMR. Defending: 1 INF
A: INF: 3,2 BMR: 6
D: 3
That was weak....lets try it again.
Round 2: Attacking: 2 INF, 1 BMR. Defending: 1 INF
A: INF: 2,6 BMR: 6
D: 2*
What the hell??? My bomber crew has had WAY to much sake! Banzai!!!
Round 3: Attacking: 1 INF, 1 BMR. Defending: 1 INF
A: INF: 3 BMR:5
D: 1*
My dear Lord. Shall I retreat? Or shall I resign :-)
? Sheesh.
Well,
heck, I'm gonna try to bomb them one more time. My luck, I'll
get shot
down,
but the stupid crew deserves it. KAMIKAZE! I mean bonzai.
Round 4: Attacking 1 BMR. Defending: 1 INF
A: 2*
D: 4
'Bout time. Maybe they sobered up?
Japan was slaughtered in the Battle of the East Indies, losing both
infantry
before a drunken bomber crew dropped one of their engines on the
lone UK
infantry. The hammered crew limped back to Borneo, where they
await a
severe
beating from their superior officers. The UK still controls
the isle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Game 6192
GM: Lennsherr2
Axis: FishHead or
Felix
Allies: Felix or FishHead
NOTE: Both players in this game are dissatisfied
with the boring "mt"
frequently used to annotate an empty territory.
Comments below were
written by the GM.
2 inf burma to india (MT)
2 inf vs sacred cows
B. 4 Inf from W. US to Wake via 2 Trn
4 Inf vs. Dodo birds in Wake (MT).
B. 1 Inf from Russia to Kazakh
1 Inf vs. Noone in Kazakh(MT)
(retreat if someone shows up)
B. 1 Inf from Algeria to Eq. Africa
1 Inf vs. round piece of cardboard with german
symbol on it in Eq.
Africa
and, my two personal favorites, the one in which I actually made
a
battle:
A.
2 inf caroline to australia (mt) via 1 trn
2 inf vs marsupials in australia
A1:3,4
D1:4
A2:2,9 miss,. jeesh, can't even hit a stinkin koala!!!
D2:7
A3:1*5 finally
D3:3 so close
The marsupials put up a good fight, but Australia falls to 2 INF.
Never
has
the kanga seen such a terrible day.
AND:
B.
1 inf yakut to evenki (mt)
1 inf vs good morning in evenki
OK, this officially gets the award for most originative way of saying
"walk-in" I've ever seen. Forwarding it to our Knight Errant
for
possible publication in the next Havoc.
Submitted by sohoa@
Hans the German war hero and his friend Ziggy went to a gas station
where they saw a sign that said 'Free chance at sex with a fill
up'.
Hans, of course, said to the attendant, "Fill 'er up!"
After the tank was filled Hans said, "OK ! What about
my free chance
at
having sex?"
The attendant said, "Pick a number from one to ten."
"Six!"
"Nope. Sorry. I was thinking of the number four."
Hans got into his car and drove home with Ziggy. The following week
Hans
and Ziggy were back filling up their gas tank at the same gas station.
After paying the attendant , Hans asked "OK ! What about my chance
at
free sex?
"Pick a number from one to ten."
"Four!"
"Nope, you lose."
Hans got into the car with Ziggy and drove away. Ziggy looked
at Hans
and said "I think the contest at the gas station is fixed and a
hoax,
and that you can't possibly win."
Hans looked over at his friend and
said, "No, Ziggy, I'm afraid
that you're wrong. My wife won 3 times last week when I was
flying
missions over Karelia."
Submitted by frogman10
You might (or might not) find my recent troubles w/ West Europe
interesting. US round 2...I thought that I had enough troops and
air to
squash West Europe and then this happened:
Attacker: 4 inf 1 arm 2 ftr
Defender: 4 inf AA gun
AA gun rolls: 1*,1* ( 2 hits )
2 ftrs destroyed
In rounds 3 and 4 the US tried to build back her air force and keep
the
heat on by using only the battleship and infantry to knock West
Europe
down. Finally, she thought that in round 5 the air could be sent
again...and this happenned:
Attacker: 6 inf 2 ftr 1 bmb 1 bb support shots
Defender: 5 inf 1 arm AA gun
AA gun rolls: 1*,1*,1* ( 3 hits )
2 ftrs destroyed
1 bmrs destroyed
For the skeptics, this was in Game # 6022 (May 4 thru May 20).
Oddly
enough, the day after this occurred...in another game I attacked
West
Europe with the US(6025 for the skeptics-May 5):
Attacker: 6 inf 2 arm 2 ftr 1 bb support shots
Defender: 4 inf 3 arm AA gun
AA gun rolls: 1*,1* ( 2 hits )
2 ftrs destroyed
Needless to say, I developed a respect for AA guns that I hadn't
had in
my previous games.
Thanks
frogman10
Game 6199
Axis: colt.45
Allies: MacTabar
"...we shall fight them on the land, we shall fight on the beaches,
we
shall fight them on the seas and oceans, and you better bloody believe
we shall fight them in GERMANY!"
6 inf, 1 arm (UK) vt (WSp to Bal), 1 bb (WSp), 3 ftr
(Kar) VS 7 inf, aa in Deutschland
****taken by 4 inf, 1 arm. 33 ipcs seized; please elect
a new Fuhrer***
Hitler captured! The Fuhrer was brougX-Mozilla-Status: 0009e channel,
and has been put to the block right in front of London Tower. He
is now
helpless, left to the jeers and taunts of the crowd; revengeful
Londonians throw cobbles at him, children kick him in the butt,
dogs
piddle on him...and back in Moscow, Comrade Stalin is licking his
chops
in anticipation.
4 inf, 2 arm (Spa) VS 11 inf, 1 ftr in WEu
****Whooaaa, let's not get carried away here. held by 9
inf, 1 ftr; 1 arm ret to Spa*****
R: 29 / $31
G: 23 / $0 I didn't know the third Reich was a
non-profit org.
B: 31 / $64
J: 32 / $33
U: 32 / $32
Japan 3:
Bloody Krauts defend PARIS better than BERLIN! Rommel was training
his
forces to stage a coup and overthrow the Fuhrer and bring a quick
end to
the war...however, during D-Day, an English sniper fired a shot
that
ended all hopes for an early conclusion...General Rommel was buried
with
full Military honors....
Knight Muse
I recently received a very disturbing letter from Noble Knt (no
relation) in which he expressed concern about the future of IAAPA.
Although there have been recent events which probably had a direct
impact on membership rolls, to paraphrase Mark Twain ~ the reports
of
IAAPA's demise are highly exagerrated.
The release of the CD-ROM caused a tiny ripple in IAAPA's pond, but
only
a minority of the CD owners left IAAPA permanently. Of the
majority,
some didn't enjoy the new format for various reasons, and a few
(Ahem.
No names please.) finally discovered what to do with themselves
when
their mailbox was as mt as New Zealand....
Another excuse some of the deserters have given for their departure
is
the recent ranking/rating changes. Regular readers know my
view on that
subject ~ I'm here to PLAY, not earn some meaningless promotion
~ at
least not until they start paying more for the higher ranks.
With all of my free time devoted to the many formats of Axis and
Allies,
and the occasional meal, I barely have enough time to read my other
mail, and never enough time to wade through the many posts on the
website's bulletin boards. There's been quite a bit of discussion
about
the BB posts. Unless I am mistaken, many of the posts are
complaints
and attacks upon the ELECTED officials of IAAPA.
Since receiving my Knighthood I have enjoyed the status of Junior
Member
of the IAAPA Inner Circle. Although I'm like the waterboy
on the edge
of the huddle, I've been able to get a close look at the innards
of
IAAPA. It ain't always pretty, but I can assure you that the
bulletin
board authors are absolutely clueless.
Every ELECTED official that I've dealt with is swamped with IAAPA
business, and although they're overworked to the point that they
usually
must give up playing their own club games, they still remain dedicated
to keeping IAAPA the great organization that it has become.
The club
has changed dramatically from the day it was first formed.
(Visit the
History link on the website for some interesting details.)
With
approximately 2000 members it is impossible to keep everyone happy,
and
there will surely be a constant turnover in the membership rolls.
Unfortunately, the complainers are the most vocal of all IAAPA's
members, thus causing my friend Noble to predict the death of IAAPA.
Me
thinks that my fellow Knt will always see the chalice as half mt.
Until next month ~
E.K.
Knight Mail
Uhm,
I'd like to contribute something , i just dont have interesting
A&A
stories...
All I want to say is : Please keep up the good work, the last two
Havocs
have
been very entertaining!
~ Vince (WAR40k@)
No problem Vince. The humor-impaired
are encouraged to contribute cash.
TYPICAL RUSSIAN BASHING HUMOR?! STEREOTYPICAL PORTRAIT OF RUSSIANS
AS
DRUNKS IS VERY OFFENSIVE AND UNWORTHY TO BE PROPAGATED BY INTELLIGENT
PEOPLE.
WHAT IF THESE COMMENTS WERE MADE ABOUT U.S. WAR HEROES, ONLY VODKA
WOULD
BE REPLACED BY SOME DRUG? I BET, IT WOULD NOT BE SO FUNNY THEN.
~ GEORGE (georgemansfeld@)
When was the last time you were in Russia,
George? It's not a
stereotype if it's true. Every single
Russian over the age of 2 carries
a bottle of Absolute on his person.
This is a state law and the
punishment for violation is immediate exile
to Siberia ~ WITHOUT a furry
little hat.
Hello
It is a sad thing that I write this... I won't point fingers
or
complain, but after reading this last Havoc, it is clear to me that
the
club no longer enjoys the popularity it did of perhaps even a year
ago,
and I'd even go so far as to say the club is dying.
There are some in the club's gov't that in my opinion are invaluable,
hardworking and down right irreplaceable. Despite this, when
you sit
back and look at the exodus of players, only those that can con
themselves will believe that the club is doing "just fine".
Again, this is an observation... not a complaint and not something
that
is meant for debate... though, it could be thought of as a warning.
~ Noble Knt
I DO believe it is a great club, that is why I became angry over
what I
perceived to be alot of whining over ridiculous things. Like I said,
if
certain members are having problems, let them be the first to volunteer
their time so they can see what it takes to run an organization.
Its
free and its supposed to be fun! Become part of the solution instead
of
creating more problems is what I say. Thank you for your efforts
in
letting me play my favorite game.
~ David (dwerlau1@)
Your "favorite" game? There are OTHER
games?!?
I just joined the IAAPA and am in the middle of my rookie game (in
the
association, that is; I've played lots). I just got this newsletter
and
would like to say thanks for the information it contained.
It was a
nice "welcome mat" for me, even though it wasn't meant only specifically
for me.
I am looking forward to a long membership.
~ ELAF51395 aka
EJGusto
Information? Who snuck that in there?
I'm sorry I haven't responded to any of your IAAPA Havoc's.
I will let
you know that your newsletter is nothing short of awesome.
Keep up the
good work, we're reading.
~ The Admiral
(AdmNimetz@)
Thank you for your kind words Admiral.
hey got new email adress,,,send me more havoc.....im player 1447....
was
at
the tourney,,were u? great articles.. thank you
~ ncrone1@
Only The Shadow knows. Hahahahahahaha!
Recon Squad
Do you have an interesting or humorous A&A story? Is there
something
that makes your blood pressure skyrocket and your face turn purple?
Would you enjoy sharing/warning other IAAPA members? The IAAPA
Havoc
has a severe shortage of intelligence and desperately needs
reconnaissance volunteers. Contributions will be accredited
to either
your email address, or preferably your Association Alias.
All
intelligence reports should be forwarded thru channels to the S-3
Officer at: havoc@axisandallies.net
!!!SPECIAL NOTICE!!!
Guess what's coming SOON to your email box?
ELECTION information! Not
happy with your ELECTED representatives?
Think you can do a better
job? Prove it.
Errant Knight
IAAPA Havoc Contributors:
EJGusto
sohoha@
Lennsherr2
frogman10