Havoceur Ladies and Gentlemen, Warriors All: I'm pleased to announce the return of the immortal: ~~Havoc~~ --------~~~::Insert appropriate pomp and splender here::~~~------------------- That's right, your monthly trip into the highlights of wit, wisdom, stupidity, and strangeness of the club has returned after a year's hiatus. But, before we begin, we must take a moment to reflect on an upcoming epic struggle for dominance in a single-elimination tournament. *No* Not that March Madness, but the upcoming ~~~~~> Spring 98 Axis & Allies Tournament <~~~~~ Our glorious club no longer stops at the relatively puny 64 member tournament currently in progress across the nation, this tourney will be the biggest on record, a 256-Person Tournament! ! ! ! <---E-mail Noble Knt to get involved Including people from all 4 corners of the Globe, from the northern wilds of Canada to the far outback of Australia, from the time-honored heart of military strategy Germany, to the intense heat of Mexico. And now, onto some rather interesting stuff: To begin, I must let it be known that an acute addiction has arisen from overexposure to The Game. ~~> Humm, maybe we could sue Milton Bradley for not acknowledging this <~~ Our first diagnosed case comes from a man who must have no other life outside his computer, a true A&A junkie extraordinnaire. He is none other than the aptly named: ----AnA Gamer---- This guy is playing an astonishing 17 Games, While GMing an additional 6 What does this paragon of complexity call himself: "Sheer Nuts" As we stroll down the immensity aisle, we must not overlook this month's Largest Battle. In #3490, the Russians, under the command of Stimpdogg, attacked a well-fortified Novo containing: ~~~~~~50 INF~~~~~~ with 19 INF, 17 ARM, 2 FTR GM, LrdOfDrems, commented, "I only have 10 dice!" Needless to say, after the first round in which the Russians lost 14 INF and the Japanese 12, USSR withdrew, leaving "Only" 38 INF. A couple of strange bids have also come across my desk in the past few weeks, including: 1 IC in Western Europe, 4 IPCs for Germany by HerbertFox in #3580 His plans: To build a German Navy! You may laugh now, but with a purchase of 1 CV, 2 SUBs in Western Europe on Germany turn one, his wish was a reality. Another, not quite as strange and possible quite intriguing was the: 2 ARM, 2 INF in Finland Bid by Portoreeg in #3329 One tidy tidbit of explanation came from Ramagain this last month. When asked how a regular (not long range) FTR could travel from West US to UK in one turn, he replied: Take off from W/U.S. move E/U.S. move Hudson Bay SZ (via river) to U.K. SZ land U.K. Island. : D Shall we be mature enough to hold our tongues from the proverbial, "What is this guy smoking?!?!" Hmmmmm, think of the implications. INF in Russia boards TRN in the Black Sea by floating down the Volga. Next, from the ancient annals of A&A literature of the past, comes a few moments from our esteemed Minister of the Internet, Micwil@: "The loyal order of Scottish kilted infantry, deployed initially in Syria, while wandering through the colonies in Africa happens across a most unusual find - a Japanese Bomber in the heart of the Congo. "Lads, ye gotta fill her belly with so much lead that just like a Londoner filled with haggis, she can't move no more. Use whatever ya got, your gun, your knife, and MacLeod, make ready with your bagpipes - we might be needing them yet --- either as a last resort or to celebrate..."." The Brave Kilted Brigade did in fact ravage the grounded BMB after 3 rounds. Game #1766 Also, in game #1760, an unwitting axis player built 2 SUBs in the Baltic SZ, which Micwil@ obviously attacked: "Russia BMB leisurely flies into the Baltic SZ and drops bombs until there is nothing left - lands in W. US" To which the GM replied: "In the mad rush to dodge the repeated bombings, the two subs collide while submerged." Truly Tragic, isn't it? Puns, innuendos, and insults exist in abundance about the late Fuhrer, but none so flattering as Crazyfust's in #3490 where he attributes celebrity status to Hitler: "So, it's to be the old exchange game, is it? Well, ALLLLLLLRIGHTTTTTY then!" Speaking of notables, like Mr. Carey, we must not overlook the: ~~Name of the Month~~ This month's award for "Most Threatening" goes to the rather belligerent: BeatU2day ::If I may use one more cheap transition statement:: Speaking of names, here are the stats for how many "names" are on the club roster. The club ranks now total 356 AOL members, 258 Internet Members, so a total of 614 members: 58% AOL 42% Internet Only four months ago, there were only 518 members. If you still want more math in your system, that's an annual growth rate of 47% !!! (Any mutual fund would be jealous) A few more select quotes before we close: "German pilot tries "kamikaze technique he had heard about good news it worked, bad news it worked" LrdOfDrems #3490 "Assign all our new recruits to front-line duty in Karelia to help them gain experience." micwil@ #3649 Don't you really mean "cannon-fodder duty"? That raps up this months inaugural issue of Havoc. Next month we will feature a "Game of the Month". If you think you have an interesting game that has just completed, let me know. Also, if you have something funny/interesting/creative/stupid about the club/your game please send it to me (I can't read absolutely every post on the boards). If there's anything I should change about the Havoc, let me know. Your Knight Errant, {>> Jon <<}