Although some are still in mourning over the passage of one certain sitcom, the world still continues to turn. The sounds of gunfire and dropping bombs continue to be heard from over 300 current battlefields across this field of play we call cyberspace. And, as long as battles continue to rage, dictators continue to be defeated, and dice continue to be rolled, we will allow our minds to run free and dive once again into the annals of the largest internet Axis and Allies Club in the world. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------~~~The Havoc~~~---------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------- We begin with a rather interesting quote from Ramagain in Game #4089. I have given this scrap of seemingly sincere narrative the title Most Likely to Get Sued. Please see if you agree: "Roosevelt is doing doughnuts in his wheel chair as Ike gives the orders to the staff. "We have noticed that the rice eaters have built up there navy, perhaps for a strike at Alas[ka] or maybe just a ruse, in any case we will let them know who owns the Pacific ocean, " Wow! In this day of suing a tobacco company for selling a product, I can think of at least three different organizations just waiting to bring a suit against this. ::acting serious:: I think it is absolutely outrageous for this frivolity, disregard for the special needs of certain persons, and racism to be published. This is a clear example of the downfall of these United States. But enough about the moral decline of America. Something a bit more upbeat you ask? Well, this month we must highlight an absolutely stellar GMing job by WRWBillbob and this exerpt from #3592. This is the sort of interesting comments everyone enjoys to read, not to mention a rather peculiar battle: SUB, BB vs. TRN, BB "A1: sub(3) BB(5) things don't look good D1: trn(5) BB(5) everybody equally inept A2: sub(4) BB(5) I'd say you need to up the training budget D2: trn(5) BB(5) this is just silly A3: sub(5) BB(4*) a hit! a hit! o my goodness! D3: trn(4) BB(5) still not into it A4: sub(5) BB(4*) clear D4: BB(3*) takes sub with him" ::Thunderous applause emanates from the peanut gallery:: A purely excellent job in livening up those rather mundane lists of rolls we all encounter. A few more excellent GM comments of note: After a lone TRN thwarted attacking attempts once again, GM halldorg@ in game #3651 announced: "The German secret weapons are on board this trn. it is now marked with xx on the side......" Those messed up bombing runs are always of interest, after only delivering 1 IPC of damage, miker1@ in #3604 said: "rookie bomber misses targets, farmer are confused as to why their crops were targeted" ::pondering deeply:: Hmm, I guess that would confuse the average farmer. After the same result, reddwarf@ in #3699 added: "sake distillery flattened..... Japanese morale at all time low !" :D A few celebrities floating through the folders this month: Jerry Lee Lewis made a suprise appearance as a leader of the Russian army in game #4159: "Not a lot of fightin' , but a whole lot shakin' goin' on......" reddwarf@ Speaking of celebrities, this past week the world mourned the passing of Frank Sinatra. The begging question of the hour then becomes, "How would he have acted as the leader of Japan in the 1940s?" Well, maybe not the first question, but an interesting one nonetheless. We have all heard of Blue Eyes and his rather, how shall we say it, "shady" friends. This quote lends us a glimpse into General Sinatraki's fictitious reign. ~~~~~"Tech rolls -- 2,4 -- more scientists get fitted for cement shoes"~~~~~~~ Mr. reddwarf@ in Game #3699 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ::Laughing:: Please don't attempt to kill the author all at once, and if you're really angry, read the disclaimer at the end of the issue. Now that I have built up my own case for being sued, here is one of the choice pieces of narrative I enjoy daily from the desk of bx095@, my opponent in tournament game #3798: Speaking about my losing effort as the Americans, he said: "Even the Superman cartoons, which used to be the joyfully propagandist introductions to movies, now have Superman fought to a standstill by a kryptonite powered robot called Masuomo." I've brought this game to the forefront for a reason however. It seems that yours truly made a rather grave mistake in last months issue. ::No surprise from the audience:: It seems that I told all of you last month about my game with bx095@ and his crazy "Four Tech Rolls" bid. It turns out that this sort of bid is illegal. Our esteemed Chancellor of Law, JohnPin569 informed me that bidding is restricted to IPCs and units. So, for all you insane people out there, ~~Please don't bid tech rolls for club-rated games~~ Some things of note: Rookie NoHawker, who joined the club a few weeks ago, has as his personal quote "Live in peace, die in pieces". :D JSTEWART2@, in game #4002, had a round in which none of his 12 defending German INF got a hit. The odds you ask?? 0.77%, or 7 out of every 1000! Two quotes from the Heat of Battle, jjrait@ in #4160, "What a lame start, I think I'll get comfortable, zzzzzz." Definitely not the most exciting game I would guess. One of my own quotes, in the fateful game #3798, "I have the cyanide next to my computer in case this portion of the German navy isn't destroyed. :)" STATS AND STUFF Speaking of stats, where are the results of your laboring through those voluminous game finish forms these last few months? Well, I'm glad you asked. You should be seeing some insightful comments on the Game Stats from the Minister of the Internet, micwil@ in next month's issue. Two odd instances of bidding an Aircraft Carrier for the Germans again this month. Kayveydog and ToddVomit both bid one to the West Spain SZ as well as a few IPCs for Germany. The highest bid of the month was the surprisingly low, 22, by ob1kanobe@ in game #3687. The NAME OF THE MONTH for May is the only name on the roster after a letter in the Greek alphabet: ~~~THETA2000~~ What does it mean? I don't know, just interesting And finally, the Club Roster now holds a total of 367 AOL members make up 55.6% of the club 293 Internet Members make up 44.4% of the club For a grand total of 660 people!! For a look at how the face of our club is changing, At the end of last November, AOL members made up 66.7% of the population and internet members only 33.3%! Quite a difference CLOSING THOUGHTS Yours truly, Jonhog, is looking for an assistant for the Havoc. If you're interested, I'd be happy to have you as long as you don't mind pouring through the AOL boards searching for interesting material. You will certainly get recognition, some of your own thoughts in the newsletter, a nifty government title, and the opportunity to brush noses with the government big-wigs. Remember, if you have anything funny/interesting/creative/stupid about the club/your game please send it to me (I can't read absolutely every post on the boards). DISCLAIMER Remember, everything written in here is not intended to hurt, harm, or otherwise defame anyone. Anything you find offensive is purely comic and without ill-will. Also, the context in which quotes are used is not an indication of the thoughts or opinions of their author. Knight Errant "Assist and Amuse", {>> Jon <<}